JOKETIME!


Si Pedro at Cardo after the exam.

Cardo: Perdo, nahirapan ka ba sa questions sa exam?

Pedro: Hindi!

Cardo: Ang galing mo naman!

Pedro: Nahirapan ako sa answers!

****************

jeep pinara ng pulis..
driver: bakit boss ano violation ko?
pulis: wala!
driver: gagung 2! bakit mo ko pinahinto??
pulis: gagu ka rin!! sasakay ako diba jeep to!!! tanga!!!

****************

Isang batang lalaki ang nakatingin sa labas ng simbahan…
PARI: Bakit hindi ka pumasok sa loob iho?
BATA: Kasi po baka mawala ang bike ko.

…

PARI: Wag kang mag-alala, ang Espiritu Santo ang magbabantay sa bike mo.
(Pumasok na sila sa loob ng simbahan…)
PARI: Marunong ka bang magdasal iho?
BATA: Opo. Sa ngalan ng Ama, ng Anak. Amen.
PARI: Kulang ata iho. Nasaan ang Espiritu Santo?
BATA: Nasa labas po. Binabantayan ung bike ko.


****************

Teacher tinawag si Juan.

Teacher: Juan, please use the word "fact" thrice in a sentence.

Juan: *Thinks very deeply*

Juan: Ma'am, as matter of FACT, birds can't fly without FACT FACT.


***************

Q: Pano mo sasabihin sa kharap mo na mabaho ang hininga nya ng hindi nkaka offend?

A: miss UTOT ba hininga mo? Hahaha


***************


‎3 pangit namatay. Nasa langit kausap ni San Pedro.

San Pedro : Bago kayo pumasok sa langit, meron kayong tig iisang wish.

Pangit 1: Gusto ko po mging kamuka si Piolo :)

(naging kamuka sya ni piolo)

Pangit 2: gusto ko po maging kamuka si Sam milby

[ naging kamuka nga sya ni sam milby]

Pangit 3: *tumatawa* gawin nyo po silang pangit ulet. :D

hahahahahaha


******************

Pedro: ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute.
Leo: oh totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?
Pedro: dun sa burol niya!

******************

Dalawang ahas ang nag-uusap.

Ahas 1: "Makamandag ba tayo?"
Ahas 2: "Oo. Bakit?"
Ahas 1: "Nakagat ko kasi yung dila ko."

******************

teacher nahuli si Juan na nangongopya.....

teacher: ganyan ka na ba talaga kabobo Juan?

Juan: maam! seeking help is not a sign of ignorance. It is an intellectual act that allows people to admit that some situations cannot be handled alone.

nosebleed ang teacher! hahaha


******************

BANAT NG MAGULANG SA ANAK: aanhin mo pa ang alak kung sakin palang TATAMAAN ka na ?


******************

Ang 500-word essay na ikinagalit ng teacher ni Juan Tamad: 

MY CAT

I have a pet. Her name is Muning. Wait, i will call her.

"Muning!" (485x)


*****************


lola: astig ngipin mo apo ah! parang exam.

apo: bakit poh?

lola: 1 seat apart!
...
apo: sa inyo din lola, parang test!

lola: bakit?

apo: fill in the blanks! wahahaha XD


*****************


Boy: Hayop ka! Ginawa mo ko tau-tauhan sa sakahan, pero sahod ko hindi tumataas! Kung mamatay ako sinong magpapakain ng pamilya ko, ikaw?
Amo: Translate to English para taasan ko sahod mo.
Boy: Animal you! Man man me in the farm, my salary did not climb! If I die, who will eat my family, you?

*****************

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